THE MOMENTS BEFORE
I used to hate waiting. I hated surprises, and I even learned to despise those little paper chains we made in school to count down the days until Christmas and summer vacation. The suspense would have me lying awake at night, wondering how I’d survive another 15…14…13 days until the Big Day, always hoping that it would live up to my expectations, that I wouldn’t be disappointed. Always worrying that I wouldn’t get the presents I’d asked for. Or that it would rain the entire summer break. (Yes, I live in the Northwest, that’s a real possibility ;)
I hated those moments before; I wanted to hurry up and be there already. I was living in the future, always looking ahead. And then, when the waiting was over, when whatever moment I’d been waiting for would finally arrive, I was off to something else…counting down the days to the next big event.
But times change. I’ve changed. I’ve learned to cherish the wait, to relish the now, to savor each and every moment. I love the what-ifs and possibilities that only exist in the time before an experience, before you know what actually happens.
What if…I get a bike for my birthday?
What if…our team wins the championship?
What if…he kisses me tonight?
What if…?
For me, that’s half the fun, the dreaming and wondering. The guessing.
People ask if I’m excited for my book to be released, and I am. I’m so excited that I lie awake at night, playing the what-if game and considering the endless possibilities. These moments—the before—are the ones I really love.
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Check back tomorrow for a review of The Body Finder. :]
hope.
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